Being unsocial in the social world

Have you ever felt like your life surrounds a small circle of people?Are there times when you would scroll down the lists of names in your mobile contacts, looking for someone else to call and talk to but u couldn't seem to find one? And suddenly u realize u r so alone especially when those few people u have couldn't make some time to be around u.

Let me share with u, I was once like that. I felt disappointed when the people in my life were busy & could not be around me when I needed them. I told myself that maybe I need to socialize more and expand my contacts. Oh, if only I could do that, I would always have back ups now-somebody who always appear here and there when needed. But is that really necessary?

Well, I tried. I tried so hard to be social. But no matter how much effort I put into it, I could not enjoy being one & I could not enjoy mixing up too much. I faked it, I pretended to like it, I smiled dishonestly, but I went back feeling "Gosh!! it was sucks". And when I finally made friends with some people, slowly I made them faded away & I ended up making no progress - I wondered why. I used to enjoy making friends before. Why did it changed?

It took me so long to finally figured out that what I faced was not actually a problem. But it was just my preferences. Of course, I love being around people, but only those who respect me and love me back sincerely for who I am. I finally realized that all these while, I had stumbled upon the wrong people & the wrong crowd. And by that time, it was too late -I ended up feeling wounded, hurt, scarred, and defeated until to the extend I vowed not to bother being social anymore. Society is full of judgmental people - I hate being scrutinize. In this big & crazy social-world, you will always come across back-stabbers, cheaters, two-faced, and the list goes on.

After a series of trial & error, I gave up. Why would I fight myself to be accepted? Society could be nasty and why would I bother to blend? I am happier, much happier when I am alone. I can appreciate myself & get to know myself better. The values and traits possess in myself which others see as ordinary -I can appreciate better.

So what did I do to turn those bad thoughts I had earlier into positive ones? I tried to be independent. When those lovely people I have in my life couldn't make time to be with me, I do my own thing. Make appointments with them so that you can still have them later when they are available. In the mean time, get yourself busy with the things you love, like reading, jogging, surfing the net, or simply go back to your family to make you feel better. I believe families are the people who will always be there for you no matter when and how. But if families also are not the options for you at that point, use google. that's what i normally do :) Hehehe... Believe it or not, there are many loners out there that share their sorrows or problems by way of writing- on the nets, forums, or blogs, and u can always relate to them by reading their stories and other people's comments on the matters. Study the way out by yourself if that will makes u feel better. If not, find your closest friends that you can trust. But depending on people is sometimes frustrating and its best that you know how to deal some things by urself.

If 1 bestfriend is out, put that aside for a while and look for someone else. If all is out, go back to your family or simply, to yourself. Believe it or not, you are your own bestfriend. I navigated my years of upbringing by analyzing and studying things by my own self with the help of informative sites & books. From time to time, I motivate my ownself & control the way I think & bring myself. Until to the point u will be in control of ur feelings, ur emotions and ur thoughts.

I came a longggg way to navigate myself & to find my preferences.Once I found all these things, I started to love myself more & enjoy living. Who needs a big society if so much in them are nasty people? I don't need people to tell me what I should wear. Or how should I bring myself - Oh I met a lott of them!

U will know if a good people is around, and will want to keep them in ur contacts. To these people, cherish them & love them as much as u can, as these will be the ones who will be with you throughout ur life. It's not necessary to make a big crowd - Like me, my closest friends can be counted by my 10 fingers. But, they are the ones who accept you for who u are & will value the positive sides of u. Being in a big circle of friends doesnt mean you are an achieved person.

I tend to keep certain feelings to myself ever since I was little, and when I grew up, it feel sucks to express anything to people. But I love speaking my thoughts and my feelings, just like everyone else - it's just that not everyone is the right person to confide in. Find the right someone. There are people out there who can be with you during the good and the bad times, and will not judge you, or argue with you. They will simply care for you. Find one of them.

Don't give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with the thought that being a loner will makes you pathetic and will bring your self-esteem down to the drain. It releases an awful lot of the pressure if you stay true being yourself and love who you are and just keep lovely people around you.

Being alone or being in a small society is not a bad thing, it's just a hard thing to go through and can play with your emotions and self confidence ONLY when someone told you so. But prove them wrong and show them that YOU ARE HAPPY BEING THE WAY YOU ARE and you got so many things in your hands & minds that are interesting & enjoyable that you love to do everyday even if it doesnt involves people.

Create a new hobby - for me, reading, but it is not really 'new'. I've been reading ever since I was a kid. They are my bestfriends. They could take you to too many places without moving an inch. Your mind will be flown away to some places that are interesting rather than nasty world we are living in.

Always look on the bright side of life! Be happy and content within yourself and NEVER EVER think that you are not worthy of being in a crowd or that you are out of someone's league. You just need to find the right crowd and the right people!